I said I'll be back as soon as I was up and running, which is not exactly yet. But decided to come on in anyways. Let you know I'm okay and on my way to become the most horrible of insomniacs. Ufff.... man its so early! And I haven't been to bed yet, nor do I feel like it. But I will anyways, because that's life.
I was actually thinking about love (blame it on the fact that I'm reading a Sarah Dessen book since one in the morning) and how people say that it comes when you least expect it. Well, years ago when I was walking around looking for anything BUT love-- it never came. Now that I walk around and I don't mean to look for it-- it's not here either. I guess it has to do with the fact that deep down I've always craved love. I'm truly a romantic at heart, which not everyone knows. Most people think I'm either a goody 2 shoes, a bitch or a brainiac. Bitch is usually the one that comes up first. I'm distant and cold, I don't like hugging people and can't deal with emotions and people crying... It freaks me out and I end up looking like a statue, just froze there thinking what to do, if I should hug them or pat them in the back or what?
I like to think, simply, that I have layers and I need someone that's patient enough to go through the layers until he can find the real me. But maybe there's no REAL me. Maybe I'm just this way and nothing can be done about it... Maybe life is simply a lot of things happening at once, and so are we... Simply a lot of emotions fighting over each other in a matter of seconds, changing willingly and we can do nothing about it... Maybe.
Anyways, I've said more than I intended. Small Note my ass, eh? I'll be back as always. C ya, my lil green guys!
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