I was having coffee with a friend the other day and somehow we ended up talking about how relationships begin. At some point he (because it was a HE), turned to me and said that some men use friendship like a hook. If they realize the woman they like is not that interested in them they would simply become her friend. They would listen to her, console her, and just be there for her. Odd part??? It seems to actually work!!! Not all the time, mind you, but it does. Mainly because usually the woman in question starts thinking about how nice and sensitive they are. Then, one night, when some asshole breaks her heart, she suddenly looks at him through her tears and realizes "He's kind of cute!" too.
Then again, entering that space where reality collides with the fiction of "no feelings openly expressed in this area" known by many as the Friend Zone, is a risky gamble. Specially for women. Men have used this technique many times before and about 40% out of those get out with the winning of a lifetime. Women, on the other hand, usually lose. (20 out of 100 kind of odds) And this is mainly my friends and personal experience talking. So it's not simply observation! And the thing is that when you are a woman interested in a man and decide to enter the Friend Zone you do so expecting one result but knowing deep down that it'll probably never work.
Truth is, and this is something my friend as part of the masculine sex in their 20's to 30's confirmed, usually when a man gives you every hint that you two are simply friends he's just not interested! He might like you, or hanging out with you, he might even think you are interesting but somehow, even all that put together isn't enough!
I think that's the greatest difference between men and women when it comes to this subject. At the beginning we might not like you but as we get to know you that can change... Men, on the other hand, usually don't change their opinion. It's easier that way, the relationship would be ruin, I don't find her that attractive, or maybe simply something as simple as bad timing - are all the most common of excuses. But the simple truth is, using a phrase from a book I love by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!
And that's okay! It is! Because we are all different and simply because I might like you doesn't mean you have to like me. The important thing is to realize he's not into you sooner than later and MOVE ON. (Believe me, you don't want to be around when he dates, sleep or gets serious with some other woman). And you should listen to me on this, because the truth is that I give great advice... I might not follow it myself, but that's just because I'm incredibly stubborn. I refuse to give up until I SERIOUSLY have to. But do not be like me! Save yourself the heartache and move on. 'Who knows? Maybe when he sees I'm interested on someone else..." Don't kid yourself and stop making up excuses. Do it for YOU and no one else but YOU!
Break free of the Friend Zone and look for someone that would rip the space time continuum for you and not the other way around!!!
