About Valentine's

Well, today is the day, my people! The day I’ll tell you about Valentine’s!
I know, I know… its kind of late for it; February is over, March is here and soon after it Easter! But still, I thought it would be a good idea to wait until people had stopped drowning their loved ones in flowers, chocolates, and balloons, and the sweet and bitter smell of Valentine’s Day had left the atmosphere, before I actually talked about it. Then I can spare myself the “Awws” or “Ughss” and simply tell the tale, give my opinion and MOVE ON!

So, here goes: Basically, the origins of this day go back to the Ancient Rome. “Where men hit on women by, well, hitting them” (Seipel). The Romans celebrated from the 13 to the 15 the festival of Lupercalia in honor of the God of Fertility. Why in the middle of February? Well, bits me! The point is they chose this month for some reason. During the feast, men would choose their mate and marry her. No questions ask, simply “You are mine”, and that was an order. (We have to remember that women had no rights in the Roman Empire.)

“The Roman romantics were drunk. They were naked," says Noel Lenski, a historian at the University of Colorado at Boulder. "Young women would actually line up for the men to hit them, Lenski says. They believed this would make them fertile.” (Seipel)

Dumb, dumb… And I can hear any hot-blooded woman in this century saying: “Really? Maybe some of them, but ALL of them???? They actually believed that?”. And the answer is “Who knows?”. You’ve been put down, taking advantage off and ridiculed all your life, its hitting that much of a stretch?



Afterwards, they would have what Seipel called the “matchmaking lottery” (Loved that phrase! so I have to repeat it), where men would take out a name from a jar and basically hook up with whomever they had the fortune or misfortune to pick. For how long? Couple of minutes… hours… days or forever. And all this during the feast, meaning they “mated” in front of everyone in what looked, in my imagination, like a big-sweaty-everyone-touching-orgy. Nightmare!!!

There are two versions of what happens next. In the darker version, Emperor Claudius II executed two men named Valentine on February 14, making the name famous or something. Later the Catholics mixed the holiday up, in a quick conversion cocktail for pagans, with the St. Valentine’s Day. Lensy said it was “a little more of a drunken revel, but the Christians put clothes back on it.” After all of this, the romantics, Shakespeare, Chaucer, etc, romanticized the holiday with all those oh-so-incredibly-romantic-poems, that in truth weren’t at all that romantic but still makes us go “awww”; like for example:

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
(Shakespeare)


In the more romantic version, they would get married on the feast until Claudius became the Emperor and decided to outlaw marriages, the official reason being that men didn’t want to leave their wives behind to go to battle, which anyone that has ever read anything about the period would know to be BS. Going to war was an honor, bigger than any other; men lived for battle… or something like that. Maybe Claudius was gay, or maybe ugly and no woman would ever willingly be with him and he decided everyone else would suffer with him, I don’t know, don’t care. The point is he did it… supposedly. Still young people fall in love and become fools so they wanted to get married. So, who you gonna call?? “Catholic Bishop Valentine!”; the Catholics couldn’t not take some credit for this oh-so-wonderful holiday. (Must admit I was tempted to say Ghostbusters! lol) He would secretly marry young couples, and as soon as Claudius found out he, of course, got arrested and ordered to be executed.




While he waited in jail, he started corresponding with the jailer's daughter, fell deeply in love with her, (nevermind the fact that he was a catholic priest!) and the day he was to be beheaded, he wrote her one last note and signed it: "From Your Valentine”. (This is the part for the "Awww's", people!).

And that’s how all that mumbo-jumbo got started…




Nowdays?? Good question. Nowadays this day in the middle of February seems to have taken a greater meaning, at least for the big corporations, where you have to literally drowned people with things, be that chocolate, flowers or jewerly. The great "Come on, show her/him you care!" promotions seemed to have eaten our brains, and whether you are alone, and sitting at night crying and eating chocolate in your bed (which, really, you shouldn't!!!!) or having a romantic dinner with your love one, or passing girl/boyfriend ('cause I mean realisticly speaking no one is "forever yours"!) you are plagued by the campgains.



It's simply another day, people! In the middle of February! And don't get me wrong, I don't hate Valentine's, that would just made me bitter, I simply don't believe in it as a holiday, because as fake holidays go this is a lame one. Every single thing you do in Valentine's you can do any single day if you really wanted! You know what would be trully special? If you created your own fake holiday with your partner and said "Sweetie, next (i don't know... eh...) July, 10 is going to be our own special Valentine's! Just you and me, dinner for two, a bottle of wine and making love like never before". Sounds like a great fake holiday to me! No gifts, just us, wine and love.... maybe flowers, but just 'cause they are pretty. And no chocolate, unless its for spreading down each other, and most definitely no goddamn bear holding a fugly heart that says I heart u!



Still if you want to celebrate Valentine's then why not do something different? Something that means something to both of you instead of simply going to dinner and a movie like any other lame date. Just think about something you would love to do, make your own gifts if possible and be creative. An old crappy picture of the two of you in a park laughing in a two-dollar frame you bought at Walgreens can have much more meaning than a fancy dinner for two.



A simple gift that you have thought through, that means something besides "I stopped at the nearest jewerly and bought you sometimes within my range of money that wasn't too hard to pick, and best of all I didn't even had to gift wrapped it!", what's personal about that??? Not that I would ever turned down diamond earring but surely you could have at least wrapped it or bought a nice card IN WHICH YOU ACTUALLY WROTE SOMETHING! I hate when people hand out empty cards with just their name at the bottom. I love greeting cards, they say so much about a person. What kind of person they really are... tender, romantics, cold, distant, in a hurry last minute kind of people, etc. Great greeting cards always make me cry... *sigh.


So, basically... just make the best out of every minute, not just a single crappy day in the middle of February. Remember that memories are everything we have in the long run. So make great memories! Memories you can't ever forget! And be happy, be loving, be loved... everyday if possible.


Happy Be-Lated Valentine's Day!








References
http://www.essortment.com/history-origin-valentines-day-65174.html
http://www.npr.org/2011/02/14/133693152/the-dark-origins-of-valentines-day